Marbury, Cuban, and Italian Thunder

We have all heard Starberman's proclamations that echo Marbury's "love" of Italy. But the more I read of what's going on in Italy, marbs might reconsider his career choices.

In his customary midday Sunday address, the pontiff expressed concern at "recent examples of racism" and reminded Catholics it was their duty to steer others in society away from "racism, intolerance and [the] exclusion [of others]".

On any other day, his remarks might have been seen as no more than a restatement of official Catholic doctrine. But they came instead in the midst of a furious dispute over an editorial published by Italy's bestselling Catholic weekly, Famiglia Cristiana.

In an editorial on Friday, condemning recent government moves against immigrants and Roma, the magazine said it was to be hoped fascism was not "resurfacing in our country under another guise". The jibe outraged Berlusconi's supporters, many of whom are themselves pious Catholics.

As I read Pope warns Italy in danger of returning to fascism by John Hooper, I wondered how a wallflower like Stephon Marbury would fare in a country that is making the church squeamish.

As I daydreamed a scene from the comedy Tropic Thunder comes to mind. Toward the end of the film in which Ben Stiller's character, Tugg Speedman, waves the helicopter off from a bridge he's standing on. Tugg, after being re-educated by his captors believes he has found someone who cares about him, Little Half-squat. Tugg turns and returns to his captors.

The crew is stunned but resign themselves to living without Tugg [Stephon]. No sooner than the helicopter is about to take-off there's a ruckus coming from the bridge. In a flurry of angry captors chasing Speedman, the crew watches as Little Half-squat is firmly clinging to Tugg's back stabbing and choking him. By now Tugg can't leave his captors fast enough. He grabs Little Half-squat and tosses the kid over the bridge, sprinting to the helicopter.

It is not hard to imagine Marbury going to Italy, aggravating the fans, and chasing a plane out of the country with a horde of blood-thirsty euro-fascists clinging to his body as he flings them off.

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I have written about this before but it's bubbling up again. Mark Cuban thinks Jason Kidd will deliver a championship in Dallas. I don't think so. Kidd will pout subliminally all season long without a contract extension. No money, no honey.

Marbury is a better, more hungry player than Kidd and a one-for-one swap makes sense. The Knicks can rent Kidd for a year or two with no grandiose expectations. Marbury may very well finally win a ring and redemption in Dallas.

It's a hellish deal but one that makes sense. If Marbury fails... well, Cuban rebuilds with no hard feelings.

Imagine the conversations Mark could have with Marbs (with apologies to Tropic Thunder):

Marbs: There were times while I was playing [with the Knicks]where I felt...
[pause]
Marbs: ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
Cuban: Moronical?
Marbs: Yeah!
Cuban: An imbecile?
Marbs: Yeah!
Cuban: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?
Marbs: [pause] When I was playing [with the Knicks].