News that a mule had given birth last week is rocking the Washington political establishment. Bush, Cheney, and Lieberman all of whom have been heartily pounding the Democrats for over a decade have no comment on the startling revelation.
Likewise, Washington religious lobbyists are being tight-lipped about the affair. The mule, a well-known trans-gender activist, had appeared in a number of nativity plays with high-ranking evangelists all of whom are refusing comment but expressing concern that this latest evidence of evolution is the work of the devil.
On Capital Hill, Barack Obama says he is willing to meet with the mule. Hillary Clinton thinks it is too soon after the birth to traumatize the mother, Chris Dodd can't afford to meet with the mule. Joe Biden wants to care for the mule there so that the global mule population isn't encouraged to start having offspring here. Edwards pledged support for the poor mule. Mike Gravel claims to have prevented such an incident during the Nixon administration when Washington Republicans "had that same crazy glint in their eye". Bill Richardson says mules in New Mexico are covered by state law. And Dennis Kucinich reminded the press that he is no longer single but pledges full support for single moms.
Meanwhile, Michael Moore is offering to pay for the mule and her offspring to be flown to Cuba so that he can film a sequel to Sicko.
At Friday's Washington correspondent's press conference, Tony Snow speaking for the White House, insisted that "the media is just trying to make an ass out of Bush and Cheney" to which Helen Thomas replied, "Quit your braying and speak English."
The House of Representatives is insisting the administration provide DNA samples as evidence in a coming probe.
Washington madams are considering suing the mule for unfair business practices.
The mother of the foal is crying foal at the suggestion that her baby be used as the poster child for the Bush administration just because she is considering naming the child 'Baby Dubya'.
Ye Newe Glory-torium
Here, dear readers, is the final resting place of all weary Knicks fans. Yes, here is where one comes when James Dolan extends yet another contract, when the Knicks trade for yet another ambulatory star, or when said fan simply hits 'rock' bottom. In short, "the ship be" eternally "sinking" here. Welcome aboard, rearrange the deck chairs as you please.